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Ugh to 30

30 was supposed to be great. 30 was supposed to be my year. At least according to my mother, who could "feel it."

Well, 30 has been crap. At least, the second half of it. Still in this deadbeat job. Still living at home. No finances, no prospects, job or otherwise. No hope in any foreseeable future. And just when I thought things couldn't get worse, when I literally thought to myself, 'the only way to make this worse is to get in a car accident,' what happens? I get in a car accident. Right after I have to pay a ton of money out of pocket, right after my prescription glasses break and I don't have the insurance to get new ones, right after I'm sick for 2 months and have to miss a ton a work I could have been paid for.

To add insult to injury, I hit them, which means my insurance will go up and I got a bullshit citation of $125 on top of it. As if I didn't have enough money problems to worry about. My bank account is the lowest it's been since I was in college. It dropped from $20,000 to $9,000 in less than 5 months. First my laptop blew and because I don't have a full-time job, I didn't get approved for the credit card, which meant I had to pay for it in full -- $3,000. Then of course there was October and Christmas, which costs hundreds of dollars. I literally don't know where the rest went.

So there goes the idea of going to the TEA Summit in LA in April. I was already on the fence about it because of costs, but this pretty much seals the deal. I don't have a choice now. And then I get to thinking about the Experience Design program at UC-Boulder I had to turn down. There's no way in my lifetime I could ever afford to attend, and that makes me angry. I shouldn't have to turn down opportunities like that because I can't afford it. What utter bullshit.

On the positive side, I'm taking better care of my body than I ever have. I feel strong and I feel flexible, which I never have before. I'm in the best shape of my life and this is only the beginning. I have the momentum now to go further, to try things I would have never thought would even be possible.

I'm in Pole Level 5, which is a giant feat. I think I'll have a handspring by the end of the year, maybe even by the end of summer. I'm actually taking a kickboxing class. That's been something I've thought about doing but haven't for a long time. I probably won't go past the 3 intro classes because of the cost element, but it's something.

I've also decided I'm going to take martial arts classes. For real. It's going to happen. I really want to learn how to use weapons, specifically sai and the bo staff. I think I may actually have the instincts for the staff and might actually become pretty good at it. There's an Okinawan studio in Lannon (near Menomonee Falls) that teaches them, and I'm gearing to sign up. If not there, definitely somewhere else. I know that will be a good fit for me, but the martial arts style itself I'm not sure about yet. I'm not sure which type is best for me, and maybe it's none of them. But I'm going to do what I've been wanting to do for years and sign up.

What's more, since becoming stronger I've grappled with the idea of trying out cross fit. I have some crazy delusion that I might actually be able to do it now that I've become stronger. Hah. I'm kidding myself. I can pull myself up on the pole now, but that doesn't mean I can lift weights or do cardio. But hey, I met some girls in the Pole Level 2 class after my strength and conditioning class who are from a cross fit background. They're really cool and tonight I had the chance to hang out with them during their class (Kate let me stay to burn off the stress). We got to talking and I asked them about cross fit. They told me about their studio, which they really love and which offers 2 free intro classes, available in the evenings. They said there's a Friday night class they go to and invited me to join them this week. So I signed up! :) I'm prepared to be overwhelmed, but I'm still excited to at least try it. Helloooo bucket list!

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