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May 20, 2026

I don't want to go to bed in a grumpy mood, so here are some highlights of my day: 
- I managed to switch out of my grumpy mood this morning and into a really good one 
- I laughed so hard with Zac and Ryan during lunch coming back from Starbucks that you would have swore we were drunk. It was such a dopamine rush. I love being together with them. 
- I was super productive at work today, and even though I had to stay later than I would have liked to, I'm incredibly proud of the work I got done. I had to AI all of it, so it's not my own writing, but I tailored and edited all of it. And it was still a considerable amount of writing that is impressive at the end of the day. 
- Bryan and I went to magic Kingdom and got to ride both sides of Space Mountain and the Tiana ride. We had such a good time together, and one of the cast members gave me a free Dole whip and water bottle, which was such a little treat and really perked me up. 

I'm really struggling with words and forming sentence structures. It's so much worse than it was before and is really causing problems. I don't know how to fix it at this point. I'm hoping time will fix it, but I'd also like to find some exercises to escalate the process. Wording is the thing I'm most proud of and what I enjoy most, so it's a real internal struggle to be struggling with this. And it's also hard to express how difficult it is to deal with this to other people in a way that they truly understand. 

Luckily, my strategic organizing and problem-solving skills are generally still okay. But my ability to visualize stories and situations, etc. aren't working at full capacity, either. I'm able to adapt, but I don't like having to, and it eats time. 

I'm giving myself grace, but I don't love it. 

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